miss interpreted (undercurrrent) wrote in my_job_sucks,
miss interpreted

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the day hell got a bit hotter

Me: Susan sent me home from work just now...ya know... because I’m not as efficient, sterile, emotionally dead as a machine...and because i couldn't smile nice and proper
Him: were you fired?
Me: I hate corporations. all they care about is money and image. One more strike and I’m out, as they say
Him: for what? being impolite to customers?
Me: No, for being too polite. I talked to a pair of my customers last night for too long, which is conceivable...but...should not be seen with negative connotation. she made it sound like i committed a direct offense against the company itself by talking too long on her time and practicing my service skills, or as she calls it these days, "the Barnie's experience". It's all a bunch of hypocritical bullshit
Him: mostly, yes
Me: i couldn’t even walk from the back room to my car with my apron on, because "it looks unprofessional… ad infintum“. And she came in the back room, while I was crying and was like, "what are you doing back here? get out of here, you’re on your break...you're not going to freshen up back here, go outside", to which I replied, "why, am i bothering you? Does it bug you that I’m upset?” She just snapped back at me with a "what?!" and told me to go outside and fix my makeup...because again with the "image" they want to give off. god forbid my skin is blotchy. god forbid she look at someone as a fucking person and not just a disposable employee. She may as while not even speak to me, because that would give me a face and a personality and with that emotions...and ethics. I may as while just keep my mouth shut, because I’m pathetic and desprite for the job that I have, even, stupid as it may sound, thankful to a certain degree. I work my ass off and have never said “no” to her for anything. I pick up shifts for people at least twice a week. I work doubles. I put up with her shitty scheduling that makes me close one night and open the next day, all the while, simultaneously piling on stress due to our new status as a training store for corporate. I’m just so drained and tired of it. I have no idea how the hell Melissa ever put up with it for so long, and still does. Her perseverance is envious on many levels.
Him: it sucks- but ultimately it is just a job at the mall, and one cant expect too much from it
Me: well it’s not like I can go very much further professionally. Look at me. I’m a high school graduate. I don't attend school. I’m just trying to pay my bills and eventually be stable enough to continue my academia… I can't expect much from it, but also, I don’t' know how I can go on not expecting a little more, because it's so hopeless, there's no advances, it's upsetting. I'm stuck, and this job is a stable hell
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